US Open: Round 3

Golf

ByTheMinGolf

Good afternoon, good evening, good morning, good night. To be honest I have no idea what the time is where you are. Are you reading this anyway? Who knows. Welcome to what many are calling the highlight of Day 3. It's the coverage before the front-runners come out to play. This really is the prime slot. I'm Chris Clark (otherwise known as @chrisclark1975)

Let's have a look at the leaderboard. (21:55)

Whilst you're reading this, why not click on one of these lovely golf adverts. You do know it's Father's Day in the UK tomorrow. It's not too late to buy your father some outlandish golf gear which he will never wear.

If you're interested the four leaders tee off at 818pm and 829pm UK Time. So I'd go out if you're in the UK. Look at the weather out of the window it's beautiful. Take a walk to the local pub, and have a pint for me. I'm stuck indoors updating you about player's moving from -1 to -2 No I'm not annoyed about this contractual obligation at all.

Sue Revell (@MakeYourBigLeap)

If only you'd read the small print......

Chris Clark

Should have read that years ago!

If you're looking for a golf update. Jack Maguire has eagled the first to move to -3. Can Jack Maguire's parents please ring in. We have no information about him at all.

Sky are so dis-interested in the golf out on the course, that they are talking about the twitter "spat" between Rory Mcilroy and Steve Elkington. Call that a spat, you should have seen the fall-out when I called Steve Brookstein a c**t.

Are you unsure who Steve Brookstein is? Here he is in all his "glory" Somehow he has made a Phil Collins song worse. Imagine that. Well I say imagine that. It's bloody here. Fool.

Sky currently interviewing Tommy Fleetwood who is in the co-leadership. Could do with a haircut Fleetwood.

We have an update on Jack Maguire... Mr & Mrs Maguire were huge fans of Coronation Street in the 80s and 90s. Not much time for it in the 2000s. Got a bit silly didn't it. Well their first born was going to be named after the Duckworth's. Vera for a girl, Jack for a boy. Interestingly the middle name also had a Duckworth theme. Terry. Terri for a girl. *Above may not be true*

If you think you can write updates wittier, funnier and more eruditely than me...well 1. You're a fool. 2. Prove it. Send me an e-mail. chris@bytheminute.co We're gladly have you come and write. Like now, in the blazing sunshine with no live golf on!