The Lion King



Timon and Pumba jokes were the hit of the playground back in 1994. And most of 1995. Then Toy Story came along. The rest is history.

2nd best song of the film now. Hakuna Matata. It means no worries. Apparently. Maybe someone should tell that to Jeremy Corbyn.

At that moment where T & P showed Simba their world, I'd probably just have said "sound lads. Let's do this, eh" and forgotten all about the place I left behind. No worries indeed.

Now, there's an elephant in the room. Not in the film at this point, but in the film. Simba just goes through his whole remaining childhood and adolescent years in a millisecond. Yet Timon and Pumba remain unchanged. They don't age a single year. How's that? Eh? And don't give me your "it's a film" bullshit.

It's advert time once more. Tell you what, that Superhumans ad for Rio 2016 Paralympics is freaking awesome. LOOK AT THIS! WOW!! So much better than the BBC's Animalypics one.

The adverts have finished. That bird is singing a song about coconuts. Scar is being...well...Scar. Horrible to everyone in sight. The Hitler of the animated world I guess you could say. And I will. I have.

The wise buffoon is back. He may well be my favourite character of the whole film. The way he says "alive" is very heartwarming. Lovely old chap. Bet he's dead now though. That's a shame.

Nala is the Jess Ennis of the wilderness. Strong. Sassy. Would kick your ass. Would kick my ass. She's pretty amazing. Shame she settled for a douche like Simba.

"My name's Simba. And I'm a simpleton. But look, I have wavy hair so love me Nala. Please" He's the Taylor Lautner of the animation world. All looks. Nothing under the bonnet.

Can You Feel The Love Tonight is a decent song. 3rd best of the film? Possibly. It's a bit too Rod Stewart-y for my liking though. Which loses it a few points. 4th best possibly.