IOC Decision on Russia



12 days ahead of Rio 2016, the IOC (which stands for Interminable Obnoxious Cretins, sorry, International Olympic Committee) have made their ruling on the participation of Russian Athletes in Rio. Full text here: Now for my summary *flexes fingers*

In short, the IOC have decided to.....not make a decision themselves. Phew, thank God they're here, eh? Imagine the chaos what would ensue without them....

You may be confused having seen headlines saying 'IOC decide to not ban Russia from Rio 2016', but that's half the story They've decided to let the International Federations of the individual Olympic Sports to decide whether any Russian Athlete planning to compete should be allowed. In short, they've given a Hospital Pass to all 28 Olympic Sport Federations. So, 28 Hospital Passes.

After the exposure of the biggest drug scandal / cheating b*stard story ever, the IOC, a group who themselves say 'In its deliberations, the IOC EB was guided by a fundamental rule of the Olympic Charter to protect clean athletes and the integrity of sport' have decided that this is not enough to warrant a blanket ban on a country taking part at an Olympic games. Splendid

So now, in just 12 days, each one of the 28 Olympic Sports Federations need to wade through the full records of every Russian athlete who want to compete in their sport, and decide if they should be allowed. As with everything, the threat of legal action against each Federation will loom large, not to mention the threat of a man called Vladimir. Clever move by the IOC, eh?

As for each Russian athlete, to be allowed compete they must have every drug test they have ever taken (excluding those by their own Russian Federation, because let's face it, that would be like taking Pinnochio at his word, the lying wooden b*stard), examined under the WADA rules. Got it so far? It goes on....

Each Russian Athlete will then be examined against the McLaren report, which was the Independent Person Report on the whole Russian Drug Cover-Up Fiasco. If you were implicated in this report, whether you're a Russian Athlete, Coach, Official or even a Federation, you're OOOT.... Stay with me here....

Finally, each Federation should then consult their own rule book (let's face it, which self-respecting Federation doesn't have a rule book that's hundreds of pages long, eh?), to decide if an Athlete / National Federation should be allowed compete in the Olympics.

Phew, that's pretty much it. So that's just a few hundred Russian Athletes, all their past drug tests (excluding the Russian Federation tests), cross-reference all of them with the McLaren Report (which WADA must supply to them), cross-reference all of this with their own rule books, and hey presto, a clear decision can be made (in 12 days) Which they will probably be sued for. Magic.

Hang on gets better.... If you're a Russian Athlete who has been found guilty of drug-taking before, and served your ban, YOU'RE OOT! However if you're an Athlete from any other country in the same situation, YOU'RE IN! Congratulations Justin, it's your lucky day! Can you spell D-O-U-B-L-E S-T-A-N-D-A-R-D-S ?????