Never Have I Ever Seen #2: Wall-E



I'm Chris Clark. I'm an ex-Insurance Claims Senior Technician (glizty huh!) and now a freelance writer and Never Have I Ever Seen Wall-E.

Q. - What do you mean you've never seen Wall-E?

It's simple really. I made a conscious decision never to watch kid's films once I reached puberty. (26 in case you were wondering). See as a child growing up my life was made catastrophic by sister constantly watching Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory. This was back in the day of a one TV household. I can tell you now I know the words to every song from that ruddy film.

The story does have a pleasing ending, as I purposely taped over Willy Wonka and the Chocolate factory once, with I think it was either Midweek Sport Special or Sportsnight. However with my first ever wage packet from what I would call a proper job, you know the first thing I bought? Yes that's right Charlie and the Chocolate Factory on DVD for my sister.

Q: - So what films have you actually seen? Tell us about your favourites.

This list I'm working from, you have to go down to number 31 for a film I'm yet to see. Am I a film buff? No, not really I just know a good movie when I hear of one. If you were to pin me down and say what my favourite films of all time are, then The Empire Strikes Back, GoodFellas, Raging Bull, The Dark Knight and The Life of Brian would be amongst them.

Q: - Before you start the film, what do you know about it already?

It's about a robot isn't it? When I was a lad a film came out called Short Circuit. That robot was called Johnny 5, and to the 12 year old me, he appeared to be a bit of a prick. I never saw the film. See robots were a big thing in the 70s and 80s. Rocky Balboa had one when he got rich. Then there was Metal Mickey. Look at him. You'd want to check his hard drive for suspicious material.

OK. You may begin. *presses play*

410pm - Oh this is a Disney film. I never knew that. I hope Donald Duck turns up in this.