Never Have I Ever Seen #2: Wall-E



412pm - Oh Christ what is this singing! This fella isn't even in tune...fucks sake this is already doing my head in.

414pm - Ok so we're at some desolate wasteland. There is some robot whizzing around picking up rubbish. I assume this is Wall-E. Oh the terrible singing was coming from his radio. He appears to be the only inhabitant on the planet. I'm not surprised if he kept on playing that pissing song.

417pm - Some adverts are being played now. Oh it's the Grandad from Modern Family. These adverts remind me of Total Recall. I can't see a Disney film going in that direction.

419pm -The animation is very good in this, they've done a good job, however I'm not sold on this opening minutes. It's a slow start.

422pm - So what I can see he charges himself up via the Sun. Let's hope he doesn't move to Scotland.

423pm - He's just compacting rubbish, but wait something green is growing out of the ground. Hang on has he lasered the shit out of a fly.

425pm - A spaceship has landed on what I can only assume is Earth, nearly on top of this Wall-E. Somethings coming out, this isn't very exciting... It looks like a de-humidifier Oh it's changed into a floating robot, and of course love music goes on in the background.

427pm - The big spaceship has left this other robot on the planet. Oh this one can hover and fly. Wall-E is looking on in awe as he can only compact stuff. Oh this robot is a bit tense, as it heard a noise and fired something at Wall-E. This film is very dull.

430pm -The two robots have now met each other. Wall-E is following the floating robot around and being clumsy, doing some comedy prat falls. Think a robotic Norman Wisdom.

432pm - Seriously does this film have any plot? I know it's aimed at kids, but even I think they would be bored by this.