Never Have I Ever Seen #4: Pan's Labyrinth



Hello. I'm Alan Wilson. I'm a theoretical physicist by training and, like many others of that ilk, realized that I couldn’t get a job solving Schrodinger’s Equation or being famous on the telly so I’m now working in the IT sector as a computer thingy. And Never Have I Ever Seen Pan’s Labyrinth.

WTF?! How have you never seen Pan’s Labyrinth? That’s a good question and I’m glad you asked it. I don’t mind the odd bit of fantasy, so I’m not sure how this one passed me by. Been recommended several times, so my bad.

So what films have you actually seen? Tell us about your favourites. I’ve watched a LOT of films over the years, many aimed at much younger people, and among my personal favourites are The Big Lebowski, the LOTR trilogy, Dodgeball, Planes, Trains and Automobiles and The Emperor’s New Groove. Oh yes, Shrek. I am famous for yelling at people to get out of my swamp.

Before you start the film, what do you know about it already? I’ve been told that it’s heavy on symbolism and metaphor and contains monsters. I’ll need some help with the former, but I’m OK with the latter. Luckily my better half is watching with me, at least she said she would ... no sign yet.

You may begin. *presses play* Thank you. It starts.

0:00 Spain, 1944.

0:49 Bit like Star Wars with some writing explaining the back story. Too quick for me to read. Cut to child on ground, bleeding.

It's all in Spanish. Should have predicted that - means I'll have to pay special attention.

2:19 Some stuff about a Princess and how her father knew she would come back in another time another body. Woman and child in car, she's nauseous. Not sure why. Ofelia knows. Oh, she's preggers.

04:07 Ofelia is the child btw. She wanders off as fascist looking men try to help the mother. Finds a statue and ... oh, scary BUG comes out of its mouth. She thinks it's a fairy. NO ITS NOT.