Can you get any Satisfaction from a new Rolling Stones Album?

Music

ByTheMinMusic

Hello everyone (lol) @DrCMiller here with a freshly twisted arm courtesy of Chris "I've got your kids" Clark to live review the new Rolling Stones album on release day. Try to enjoy yourselves. I don't really like music.

This is an album of covers... none of which I've heard of... bloody hipsters. And it's called Blue and Lonesome... I suppose Keith Richards forgot to pay his electricity bill. Bloody pensioners.

Up first - "Just your fool". It's some sort of old timey R&B jaunt. It's shite

Nah - an old blue's romp. The sort of "jam" that aging rockers resort to when they go down Morgan Freeman's restaurant to play an unannounced gig and people tweet about it. Which is LITERALLY EXACTLY what I've got to say about "Commit a Crime" the second track. They're taking the piss

"You put poison in my coffeeeeeeeee" croons Mick. Like he's an old bluesman. He's from fucking Dartford. And that's a bit rich for a bloke who goes through blondes like iPhones.

See... they're TRYING to give it the seasick steve here... But I'm not having it from 4 millionaires. Commit a crime is about leaving your mrs before you tan her all over the place. Lovely.

Mark Keast

I feel at this point I should highlight that unacceptable as it is to demean the seniors, Seasick is shite.

2 tracks down. I'm sensing a "blues" theme here. There's some insight for you. Title track up now - "Blue and Lonesome". Originally by Memphis Slim, this. "I'm blue and lonesome as a man can be" we open with... See, if you call your kid "Memphis", Mr and Mrs Slim, What did you expect him to be when he grows up?

"Baby please come on home to me" he sings. Here, last track he was on about leaving his bird before he bit her nose off cos she poised his brew!!! Make your mind up Mick you alzheimers case!

Harmonica heavy, this. A grating, metallic annoyance.

"The whales and the fishes have no fuss over me" goes the last line of that. Course they don't Mick you gibbering tosser