Why I hate Carnival (Fasnet)

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ByTheMinute Create A Story

I have been living in Germany for nearly 9 years now and today is the worst day of the year.

It is Schmotzige Donnerstag (Dirty Thursday). It has other names in different parts of Germany. You can read a whole wiki article about it here if you like. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Carnival#Germany.2C_Switzerland.2C_and_Austria

Basically it is an excuse for people to wear stupid shit and get pissed up.

If you don't play along you get bullied. Since I live in one of the "Capital cities" of Fasnet then I can't really escape it.

It goes on from Thursday to the following Tuesday. This year my wife and I have decided to go on holiday. Unfortunately we couldn't leave until tomorrow so here is my angry blog!

It started at 6.45 this morning as I drove to work. The Fasnet Clubs (this is Germany there is organisation for everything) sets up road blocks and tries to force you to buy their newspaper.

In their newspaper, which is written in an unintelligible "German" dialect, they report on which local political figures have been naughty/stupid over the year.

I was not kidding when I say they try and force you to buy it. Last year someone stood in front of my car and refused to move until i bought a paper... well that was his plan, I put it in gear and started rolling, he moved eventually and then gave me a mouthful of abuse you might hear attending a Trump convention as anyone other than a White heterosexual male.

This year I worked out a route that would help me avoid the main junctions and mercifully only had to deal with one guy who was already pissed.

MY colleagues nearly without exception love this day. Born and raised here. They started arriving in costume at about 7.30