By The Minute - Notting Hill

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93. Hugh gets to listen in on a mic while Julia tells her co star Hugh is a nobody! Come on Julia, Mickey Blue Eyes wasnt that bad!!

94. Oh no, with that Hugh respectfully removes his excuses and fucks off for some love methadone.

95. Back in the bookshop, James informs Hugh there's someone here to see him!! Who can it be? I know where my money is!

96. Fuck me it's Julia Roberts! She's dressed demurely like the kind of yummy mummy Middle England would approve of. She's only gone and bought Hugh a MASSIVELY EXPENSIVE PAINTING!

97. Not long now till the very worst speech in cinematic history

98. Take a moment to pity poor James Dreyfus. Wasted in this film, he is.

99. Ha Ha! James thinks Julia is Demi Moore!!! We Brits, we're thick as shit!

100. Hugh tells Julia it's a no from him because she's all famous and ting and she keeps letting him down, it's that damned love heroin see.

101. Hugh tells Julia that if she were to break his heart again, he'd be buggered. He says that a lot in this film. It's almost as though he's a former public schoolboy haunted by the best traditional sexual abuse that posh parents can buy.

102. Here it is! The absolute nadir of romantic dialogue!! "I'm just a girl standing before a boy, asking him to love her" HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAPUKEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEBOAK! Dumbfounded at the sheer awfulness of that speech, Hugh lets her leave without saying goodbye.