By The Minute - Notting Hill



26. Oh no. More confusion. Julia's PR Man is in the room like a giant gooseberry. Oh ffs. Julia only called Hugh to apologise for kissing him. Bit bloody late Julia. Hugh's smitten. Smitten! You callous pinstriped jezebel!

27. This scene is taking too long.

28. Hugh tells her like it's a dream. And then he asks if she's doing anything tonight? Yeah, Hugh, go on, you never know. She might be free. Might fancy a night down Wetherspoons. Oh, she's busy.

29. A few words here about Hugh Grant. I’ve always had a soft spot for Hugh. Despite his being ludicrously handsome and impossibly posh there is something to admire in a man capable of describing his own acting range as “sinisterly narrow.”

There’s a very good reason you will never see Hugh in a Ken Loach mining tragedy or cripping/trannying up a la Redmayne – Hugh Grant can only play one role. And he’s brilliant at it. If you’re after a floppy-fringed self-effacing upper middle class lovelorn Home Counties chaps called William or Charles then Hugh’s your man.

And there’s nothing wrong with that. What is wrong is that somehow men like Hugh Grant are people we should somehow feel a smidgen of sympathy for.

30. Hugh has to interview Lester Freamon from the Wire! And then a foreigner! And then a child!

31. Hugh presumes the child means "Da Vinci" when she says Leonardo. Because Hugh is all cultured and shit! He doesnt watch films. Apart from the three occasions when he does in this film.

32. Julia can make tonight!! FUCKING YES! Oh no. Complication! Hugh does a swear! He's only got a family do tonight! Bugger! But Julia says yes its ok we can go and do your stupid family thing! RESULT!

33. Percy from Blackadder burns dinner as Hugh and Julia arrive. He is married to Her out of Our Friends In The North. She is in a wheelchair because MIDDLE CLASS PEOPLE HAVE PROBLEMS TOO. In no way is Curtis giving Grant another disabled character to emphasise Hugh's inherent humanity like that deaf bloke in Four Weddings and a Funeral. This is a totally different film. Totally.