By The Minute - Notting Hill



63. Hugh walks past a load of tabloids saying stuff about Julia's private life. He doesnt notice. He's on Love Heroin remember? Zammo Grant is having a shave when the doorbell rings. Who the fuck can it be?

64. Fuck me it's Julia Roberts again! She needs sanctuary! Like the Cult song! But not like the Cult song!

65. Julia explains how awful the tabloids are. In the polite, respectful silence that Hugh provides, he secretly hatches a plan to form Hacked Off.

66. Our masturbating Welshman is back! And he's about to knock one out over a picture of Julia when Julia says Hi! From the bath!

67. Julia and Hugh have a cup of tea. Probably some really posh shit too.

68. Hugh offers to take Julia through her lines. God sake, we need another complication! This film's barely an hour old!

69. Hugh says This Is Space Shit, Julia, do some Henry James.

70. Sexual Tension Overload. Julia says Hughs got Big Feet and YOU KNOW WHAT THEY SAY ABOUT MEN WITH BIG FEET. Julia's so keen to find out if Hugh's Huge. The Hollywood slagwagon!

71, Julia explains nudity clauses. This combination of bare flesh and legal jargon makes Hugh jizz in his pants. Probably.

72. Hugh offers to sleep on the couch with his empty balls. What a loser.