Blind Date



Good evening one and well. It's Saturday night, it's the start of the summer and a new series of Blind Date is on prime-time tv. Welcome to 1997. I'm Roddy Graham. You are most welcome. But more importantly than all of that...CUE THE MUSIC!!!

Yes, the country's favourite dating show has been brought back to life by Channel 5. There are some very obvious changes, apart from the move from ITV to Daily Express TV - the main one being Cilla Black not presenting the show in holographic form. Her pal Paul O'Grady is the host. The new set looks, well, darker from the images that have been released so far.

Another change is that 'Our Graham' (though quite who he actually belonged to was always a mystery to me...) is no longer doing the voiceover. Instead, everyone's favourite member of The Des And Mel Show is in the voice booth to introduce the members of the public, alongside some innuendo-filled quips (I presume...)

One move I do like is that there will be some LGBT dates set up during the course of the series. In its heydey, Blind Date was watched by 18 million people. Not even joking kids! I'm sure Channel 5 would bite your legs off for 1.8 million tonight. It all starts at 7pm. I'll give you my hot take on the opening episode as it unfold in around 20 minutes time.

Here we go then. I'm expecting this to be pitched at the 35-50 year-old female market. As a 27-year-old male, I guess if I don't like it Channel 5 will be quite happy. Do leave your comments as the show goes on. It might be all that gets me through the next hour...

The theme tune has stayed the same, albeit with a funky guitar featuring heavily. The set looks like it's came straight outta Ikea btw. Paul O'Grady says the reason he's doing the show is because Cilla left it to him in her will. I'm calling bullshit on that one right away! Just wants to rake it in. LOL.

The first match to be made involved 3 'lads'. Ryan from London (who looks like a Tory wank) is contestant number one. If you get stuck with him and you're on the poverty line, he'll have all your money before the 2nd drink.

The 2nd fella is JJ from Essex. 1) JJ is not a real name, unless you are a Nigerian footballer who used to play for Bolton. 2) WHY DOES EVERY SHOW ON TV HAVE TO FEATURE SOMEONE FROM ESSEX??!

And the 3rd fella is Richard from Bristol. He's a carpenter and part-time model. He's essentially a modern day Jesus Christ. Except with a Bristol accent. Which might be the most annoying accent in the country.

The "picker" tonight is Debbie from Southport. She has decided to come dressed as a swan too. She looks a bit like a younger, blonde version of Olivia Coleman. You probably won't see it but I can and since I'm in charge around here, what I say goes. RIGHT!