Afternoon folks, or good morning if you're in Pyeongchang. Here's a team that's got a good few goals in it...

And here's a team that disnae...

When I was lad, a tine wee lad, I lived in Perth and I used to love these games against Dundee Utd, they could play but we were better. And we were both better than the ugly sisters. Happy days. Now? Well, they're shite aren't they.

Our only danger today? Collum!

Dundee Utd playing in a muddy brown looking kit kick off, playing towards the beach.

Nowt much happening, it looks cold and the pitch a bit sticky.

McKenna gets his head on the ball from a corner but he nods it just wide. No power on it anyway.

Nearly!!! GMS intercepts and has a crack, the keeper's save is spilled and Rooney pounces on it. Hits the keeper, then comes off a defender's hand and out. Collum, of course, gives a corner.

After an initial burst of childlike enthusiasm, DUFC appear to have nothing in them. Just like the city they come from.

GOAL!!!!! Rooney from all of 2cm