Arsenal
3

Watford
0

Football

ByTheMinEPL

Oh. Hi there. You want some football on a Sunday afternoon. Well, let me see what I can muster. Oh. That might do. It's cojone-less Arsenal against Troy Deeney, and his big balled Watford side. Someone is in for a kicking. Hopefully. I'm @aidanleape, let's whack a disk on.

And let us find you some team news. Plenty of changes for Arsenal from Thursday night in Milan. They go with this 11: Cech; Maitland-Niles, Mustafi, Holding (Concerned face from my end at that), Kolasinac; Elneny, Xhaka (more concerned face); Mkhitaryan, Ozil, Iwobi; Aubameyang

And for Watford, it's this pack: Karnezis; Janmaat, Mariappa, Prodl, Holebas; Doucoure, Capoue; Femenia, Pereyra, Richarlison; Deeney (and his testicles)

The benched ones for today then. Arsenal: Ospina, Wilshere, Chambers, Welbeck, Nelson, Nkethia, Willock Watford: Bachmann, Britos, Sinclair, Grey, Hughes, Carrillo, Okaka

I'm told that this is Motty's last ever live commentary on the BBC today. I would say you can go with my blessing, but I can sum up all his commentary today, because it's always the same. It'll go like this. Boring stat, boring stat, passing, passing, boring stat, OH. OH. DEENEY. OH. OH MY. OH. Basically. Teams on the pitch.

Right then. Customary gambling advert complete. Don't forget to bet responsibly with Ray. Bladdah bladdah blah. Hornet Socerball FC (AKA Watford) get us underway. 0-0 (0)

Seem to be about 72 people inside the Middle East Airlines Arena (as I have to call it, I'm told we don't have the money at BTM Towers to mention brands any more, sad times). Either everyone has been on the lash, or everyone has realised, 10 years late, that Arsenal are just a little bit shite. 0-0 (2)

I type that they are shite just as Ozil and Aubameyang combine neatly. The striker is on the arm of the final man, and the through ball is a superb one. That allows Aubameyang to set it once and then strike. It's at Karnezis though, who gets a bit of thigh on the ball, and then sees the ball squirm out for a corner, which is cleared easily. 0-0 (3)

Good start for Arsenal this. On the front foot and not allowing Watford any time on the ball. That's signified by Deeney being hustled off the ball, which gets a hushed chuckle from the home fans. Mkhitaryan looking for a cross into Aubameyang, but he forgot how to do that crossing thing when he left Dortmund Counter up the other end, Richarlison slashes this into the side netting 0-0 (6)

Martin Atkinson the man with the foam can this afternoon, and he's squirting it on the left hand side of Watford's box for a free kick. Ozil whips it in. MUSTAFI. GOAL ARSENAL. 1-0 (7)