Man City
1 (1)

Liverpool
2 (5)

Football

ByTheMinEurope

Oh. There you are. I'm here too now. I've hovelled down Smoked Haddock, Black Pudding, Mash and Eggs all for Liverpool to spank one in within five minutes to well and truly kill this tie. ANYWAY. I'm @aidanleape. And here we all are. For the second leg of this Champions League Uber-Tie. Can Liverpool cling onto this slender 3-0 lead that everyone is talking about? CUE THE MUSIC

Fixed up the music. Now let's get you some teams. City go with this lot. Literally Christ knows what formation this will be: Ederson, Walker, Otamendi, Laporte, Fernandinho, Bernado Silva, David Silva, De Bruyne, Sterling, Jesus, Sane. I think they might be going for it. On the bench are Bravo, Kompany, Gundogan, Aguero, Delph, Zinchenko, Foden

As for Liverpool, it's this XI. Look at me. All Roman. Karius, Alexander-Arnold, Lovren, Van Dijk, Robertson, Oxlade-Chamberlain, Milner, Wijnaldum, Salah, Firminho, Mane Benching it up: Mignolet, Clyne, Klavan, Moreno, Ings, Solanke, Woodburn

All ready to go then. Lots of flag waving for the home fans. Lots of booing for the Champions League anthem. Lots of horrible cheesy cliche from the guy on the tannoy. We're basically all set. UEFA have City set up in a 3-1-3-3. Don't ask. Antonio Mateu Lahoz is the referee. He's from Spain, and he has a slightly dodgy hairline, shown up by his two assistants with the flowing locks.

Away we bloody go. Expect the 0-0. 0-0 (0)

GOAL CITY. IT. IS. ON.

Graham Terris

Jesus Walks... it into the back of the net

Well how about that. van Dijk on the flank after a ball out from the keeper. He wants a foul after being budged off it from Sterling. Nothing doing for me. That ball gives it straight to City. Fernandinho feeds it into Sterling. van Dijk, still out of position and too busy moaning at the referee, allows Sterling to look up and square it to Jesus about 8 yards out. Slots it home nicely. 1-0 (3)

I was trying to tell you about a cleared City free kick when the ball hit the back of the net, but not to worry. Looking at that potential Sterling foul on van Dijk. The forward has shunted his arm across van Dijk, but he's huge for Christ sake. You shouldn't be looking for a foul when you're that size. Brick Outhouselike, that was not. 1-0 (5)

Liverpool finally settling into this second leg. A few touches of the ball for the front men, but they then lose it, and it nearly sparks another counter for Sane. Roars go up any time a City player touches this ball, and the players happy to oblige. Lovren snuffs out the danger. Later move and De Bruyne hacks one well over from 30 yards out. 1-0 (8)

Here's that Jesus goal for your viewing pleasure