You Must Suffer And Cry For A Longer Time.

By The Way - Weekly Columns


I posted a tweet last night with the basic premise that there isn't a single "Rangers" player who would get into Celtic's First XI. The following is a brief player v player summary why... Gordon v McGregor: There's no doubt McGregor had more to do than our keeper yesterday. His saves from Edouard, Ntcham & Griffiths in particular were excellent. However, each came after he should have been ordered off for a snidey kick at big Kris Ajer. McGregor has a history of petulant behaviour, ranging from his wee hissy fit after being dropped by Scotland, through to rapidly abandoning the previous Rangers after they descended into liquidation in 2012. I won't even go into his off-field nonsense, suffice to say that even as much as I have severe doubts about Gordon's long-term viability as Celtic goalkeeper, i still wouldn't have McGregor's reputation anywhere near Celtic Park. Lustig v Tavernier: Has there ever been a more overrated full-back in Rangers' 6-year history than James Tavernier? Yesterday was another Glasgow Derby classic from the Rangers captain, his first three touches ended up as throw-ins, he gambolled up and down the park like a headless chicken and capped it all by squandering the Huns' only decent chance (other than the Morelos passback- more on that later) late on. By contrast, big Lustig had a much better game than of late, solid in the air against the hopeless Lafferty, strong in the tackle, and nearly capped a good performance with a goal, with a header off the bar in the first half and one just agonisingly wide in the second. Swede 1 Turnip 0. Tierney v Barasic: I'm not sure this is even a competition. KT was at his rampaging best yesterday, a constant threat down the left, pushing them back and stopping them from creating any kind of meaningful threat through Tavernier and Kent. Barisic kicked Forrest, got booked and...that's about it. Delighted to see the old scouting tactic of "He played one half-decent game against us, let's pay over the odds and he'll be pish for us!" (AKA The Jack Hendry Approach) works just as well for them as it does for us. Boyata v Katic: Boyata was imperious yesterday, winning everything in the air and efficient with the ball at his feet. The boos of last week seemed a long way off as he crashed into tackles and generally had a fantastic game. By contrast, I couldn't pick Katic out of a police line-up. Ajer v Goldson: The difference in big Kris with an experienced head alongside him in central defence, compared to the earlier games this season when he was paired with the hapless Hendry, is like night and day. Constantly looking to use the ball to start attacks, and not afraid to leave his foot in when it's needed either. Another very impressive performance from mini-Dolph. Goldson looks to have the acceleration of a sloth, to be fair his positional sense was generally ok particularly in the first half when Edouard was relatively quiet, but he was nowhere for the goal and lucky to stay on after his vicious slightly raised arm in the general direction of Ryan Christie near the end. Talked a good game before and after, not so hot during. Brown v Arfield: Booked early on after Lafferty's theatrical dive, Scott did well to keep the head for the remainder of the game, ably abetted by a Rangers midfield that couldn't get within 10 yards of him to try and provoke him further. Another very easy Glasgow derby run-out for the skipper, another big EPL star brought in to try and tame him and again he bosses the midfield as expected. Arfield run around for most of the first half attempting late challenges on Celtic players and, with the exception of one on KT, even missed those. Ntcham v Jack: Ollie was heroic in the middle of the park, constantly looking to get the ball moving forward in between the rigid Huns midfield and defensive lines and not afraid to take a pot from distance. Ran fully 90 yards to finish off a quite sublime move for our goal. Other than a wayward shot over our bar early on, Jack's main contribution to the match was slipping Gerrard-style onto his arse to let Rogic break forward on the counter-attack for our goal. Rogic v Ejaria: Big Tam had a relatively quiet game, bursting into life with the run that created the opening for Ntcham's goal. Tidy with the ball at his feet albeit over-ran it a couple of times in the first half when he could have potentially created more. I think Ejaria might have been the big guy that ran from side-to-side a few times although I'm not 100% sure. Forrest v Kent: Wee Jamesey had a good game yesterday, a constant torment to the admittedly pish Barisic and looking for the ball constantly. Was unlucky not to score with a tremendous effort from distance which crashed onto the bar, and played the decisive pass in for Ollie to score the winning goal. Kent by contrast was utterly anonymous, unable to get anything out of KT and spent most of the game fetching the ball from the ballboys after trying to get on the end of another wayward Tavernier through ball. McGregor v Lafferty: Calum was a constant buzzbomb in midfield, combining with KT well on the left especially in the first half, and shuttling into the middle to offer additional support to Brown & Ntcham whenever it was needed. Always outstanding in these games, yesterday was no different. Lafferty was deployed against Lustig who was obviously being regarded as the weakest link in our defence, and it was heartening to see him return to his Rangers of old form as opposed to the half-decent finisher who briefly showed up in Edinburgh between bookies visits. A lanky streak of piss with the grace & finesse of a breakdancing giraffe. Edouard v Morelos: Eddie had one of his quieter games yesterday, possibly understandable given his recent injury troubles, but his pace and trickery from the 5-0 game was clearly on the Huns' minds as the game started. Had a great chance to score but headed it straight at McGregor. Decent little touch out to Forrest for the goal. Morelos had his standard game against us, ran about a bit, kicked Scott Brown, moaned at the ref, kicked Scott Brown, handled the ball and kicked it away a couple of times, pushed Scott Brown, then fucked his only chance of the game with his usual overexcited sclaff of the ball straight at our keeper who saved easily. Quite possibly the worst player in Scottish football history ever to have a £10m bid turned down for him. The subs were all better than theirs too incidentally. Not even worth comparing the managers to be honest, theirs isn't going to be here long enough for any kind of meaningful comparison to be made anyway. Enjoy him while you can though, he's going to be hilarious.

Danny Bhoy

πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚Brilliant Paul! Discovered this today while listening to the podcast (This is a whole lot more fun)πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘